


A crack in forever

by roo1965



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roo1965/pseuds/roo1965
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>set s7 Heroes part 1 and 2. Jack finds out what happened after he was injured and helps Daniel deal with the aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A crack in forever

**Author's Note:**

> mostly written February 2004 to 31 May 2004 . Revised 10 to 17 August 2004 . Big thanks to GEM for the encouragement and comments.

Colonel Jack O'Neill began to come round as the medical team moved him from the gurney to the bed.

Feebly he tried to push their hands away from his chest. Hands were cutting off his clothes, the air suddenly cool over the fire that had ignited from his chest and back downwards. Pain was increasing steadily with each second now. Eyed screwed tightly shut, unable to contain himself he tried to roll over onto his side so that he could clutch at the beast in his belly. If he could just curl into the pain, it would go wouldn't it? The movement made his head pound, and he felt nauseous.

There was something round his neck constricting him, and he tried to get a grip on it to pull it off.

"Colonel O'Neill! Don't move! You've got a spine collar on! Let us do our job here." urged a male voice.

Hands gently unwrapped his clenched fists from his chest. Ports went in for IV fluids and blood was drawn for tests. He lay there panting, trying not to move so nothing could hurt and trying not to be sick from the pain in his head and the smell of singed cloth and something else.

"Stop fighting us, Colonel. You're okay, you're in the infirmary."

"Warner?" Jack asked, though he knew. The Doc was planet side with Daniel.

"Yes, Colonel."

Jack could hear activity going on in the room. God, how many others were hurt? he wondered worriedly as he was expertly disrobed, punctured, tested, and IV'd. He shut them out closing his eyes, trying to cope with the tiger. He could hear someone groaning and making distressed noises. It wasn't until a nurse lightly brushed his arm and Warner said "Easy Colonel, meds should kick in any second now. Then we need some x rays." that he realised it was him making the noise.

"Colonel, can you open your eyes for me please? I need to check for any head trauma."

"I'm okay," mumbled Jack defiantly.

"Let me be the judge of that." Warner did not sound happy.

Jack reluctantly opened his eyes, only to slam them shut them a moment later as the penlight was flashed into them.

"Well, it looks okay, pupils equal and reactive. How do you feel Colonel? Any double vision, nausea?"

"Feel like I got run over! No and yes." replied Jack.

"Just stay still, sir." Hands expertly felt round his head. "There's a nasty contusion here, but the skin isn't broken."

There was a pause as the sheet now covering him was pulled off his feet.

"Hmmm. Tell me if you can feel this Colonel."

"Ahh... yes" panted Jack as something pointy was drawn up the soles of his bare feet, which jerked in reaction, making the back and chest pain flare again.

"Good. Good. That's one worry ruled out for now."

A warm fuzzy feeling slowly spread through him, relaxing his body at last. Dampening down the fires. His head was still thumping like a tambourine though.

"That's it, keep relaxed, and let us do the work. On three, roll him." ordered Warner. Once again hands gently but firmly moved him onto his side and propped him there.

"Colonel, I want you tell me if this hurts, at all." asked Warner as lightly probing fingers caused pain to ripple up and down Jack's back.

"That would be a yes, doctor!"

"Okay, chest and back series, head and spine just to be sure." Then he was moved onto his back again. Jack closed his eyes as he heard the x ray machine being rolled towards him, and ignored the clicks and whirs.

"Medical team to the Gate room!" announced the tannoy. Jack opened his eyes. He hoped it didn't mean anyone else was badly hurt. The machine was moved away again. He lay there painfully, trying to hang on until the medics returned.

Footsteps pounded, the wheels on the gurneys squeaking slightly. Babbling urgent voices came with them as they entered the Infirmary. Jack turned his head to track them as they went past. One he thought might be an Airman from SG13, bloody and bandaged. The other was small and still, and there were so many people working on the patient that he couldn't see who it was. Curtains whisked round each patient and he could see no more. There seemed to be an extra urgency and desperation. But Jack figured it must be Warner's happy juice wandering through his system.

The x ray developer beeped, and it was some minutes before a nurse appeared to retrieve the prints. Jack waited some more.

He must have dozed off for a while. Someone was gently tapping his arm.

"I'm sorry Colonel; I have to wake you to check your responses. I can't let you sleep too long after being knocked out." Dr Warner was back, looking tired and old.

"What's wrong?"Jack asked worried.

"You've got mild concussion. There's severe bruising to your chest and back and some bruised nerves, but no spine damage that we can detect so far, so we've taken the spine collar off now. You also have some first degree burns on your front." explained the doctor.

"No over there! What's happening? Tell me!"

"I'm dealing with you right now. You need to keep calm."

"Tell me, dammit, is it Daniel or Carter?" Jack shouted angrily and started to sit up. Monitors attached to him beeped fast and then shrilled, as he slumped back in agony. Dr Warner fiddled with the IV line.

Before the swirling blackness took him away he thought he heard Warner say "SG1 are fine." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Jack opened his eyes, slightly comforted at the familiar sight of the ceiling tiles. He turned his head to see if anyone from his team were there. It would only be a moment before the Doc arrived to tell him what was going on, like always. Teal'c stood guard at the end of the bed.

He lay there assessing the damage to his body. All limbs accounted for. He moved one hand and found he was attached to an IV pole which had several bags of gunk hanging from it.

He moved slightly. Ouch. Not doing that again for a while. Back and chest woke up and throbbed. Dammit, the nurse had stuck things in him *everywhere*. Jeez, surely he was allowed to go the john by himself. He wasn't hurt that badly was he?

"O'Neill, you are awake." stated Teal'c, leaning forward to press the buzzer.

"Correct." said Jack as Teal'c passed him a beaker of water with a straw in it. Thirst quenched for now he asked,

"Everybody ok? Daniel? Carter? What about the rest of SG13?"

"Major Carter and Dr Jackson have visited, but you were still asleep. They are well. They will return."

Something in Teal'c's tone made Jack ask "What's up?"

"We returned with no injuries. Airman Wells from SG13 is recovering. We defeated the Jaffa on the planet."

"That's good, but what aren't you telling me?" Jack insisted.

But any reply the Jaffa might have made was lost as Dr Warner bustled in.

"How are we feeling today Colonel?"

"*We* are feeling fine." retorted Jack.

"Any pain?"

"Not so's you'd notice."

"Colonel, it's important! The pain medication will help you heal faster, so don't avoid taking them, please." said Dr Warner patiently, knowing Jack's tolerance and preference for as little pain meds as possible.

"Any tingling in the legs, or arms, numbness?" he continued

"No and No. Can I go home now?" asked Jack out of habit.

"Don't joke Colonel. We need to monitor you for a few days, while you get some rest."

"Is Dr Fraiser on duty today?" Jack asked.

There was a slight pause before Dr Warner replied "No, she isn't on duty today."

"Let's see how things are this morning, Colonel." continued Dr Warner as he began to unwrap the bandages covering Jack's torso. The ceramic plating had done its job but still left him with the outline of the plating, bruising and singed skin.

"Phew what's that smell?" asked Jack, wrinkling his nose.

"Singed skin and ointment." replied Warner.

"Great."

"Be thankful! It saved you from a life threatening chest wound Colonel." said Warner sharply.

There was a discreet cough, General Hammond stood in the doorway.

"Morning Colonel, glad to see you're in one piece."

"Morning sir." replied Jack wondering what was going on.

"I'll be through in a moment, sir." said Warner as he asked Teal'c to help him roll Jack onto his side to examine his back.

"Hmmm."

"Don't 'hmmm'! What can you see!" said Jack exasperated.

"The blast threw you several feet onto your back according to Major Carter and Teal'c, so you have bruising there as well as the front. I'm checking your nerves aren't damaged. We're also monitoring your kidney functions because of that impact. Although the scans seem to indicate that they haven't been torn." Warner explained.

Well *that* accounted for the plumbing then, sighed Jack.

"I'll get a nurse to come by and redo the ointment in a minute." Dr Warner scribbled on his chart and then he was gone. Teal'c left too.

"Jack..." began Hammond .

"General." said Jack warily, "Is everything alright?" The General looked like he'd been up all night.

"Yes and no."

"We got SG13 out didn't we?"

"Yes."

"We finished off the Jaffa ?"

"Yes."

"Did we get the phaser machine thingy?"

"Yes."

"Then what is it?"

"Dr Frasier didn't make it."

"Didn't make it?" echoed Jack.

"She was with Dr Jackson giving aid to Airman Wells who was seriously wounded. She was hit by a staff blast."

"God. No! Wasn't she wearing one of the new vests?" asked Jack.

"We don't have many of them; and apparently she gave hers to one of her staff nearer the front line. Dr Jackson says it was all over very quickly."

"Daniel?"

"He did everything he could. He was there for both of them. You should be proud of him."

"Where's Cassie?"

"She's here at the moment; Major Carter's keeping an eye on her. As are we all." replied General Hammond sadly.

"God, it's not supposed to be like this! Dammit. After all this time. After everything we've been through." said Jack angrily.

"I know Jack."

"When's the service?"

"In a few days. A formal ceremony here then a private arrangement later. We've both lost people in the line of duty, and they tell you it's not supposed to matter..." explained General Hammond.

"But it does." finished Jack.

"There's one other thing I have to tell you. Dr Jackson, was videotaping something when Dr Fraiser was hit, it's on camera."

"Jeez, Daniel! Oh God, I'd forgotten all about the film crew! They still here?"

"Yes they are. And they're sniffing around trying to find out exactly what happened. For a while people thought it was you who'd been killed. You had us all worried when you came back through the Gate."

"I need to see that tape sir." said Jack urgently.

"I know Jack, when you're ready." promised the General.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Jack sat in his truck in the parking lot at the SGC. He'd been let out for good behaviour. To tell the truth he always enjoyed the sparring with Doctor Fraiser. The old "I'm fine" "no you're not" routine. Push and shove. She always told him what his injuries were, and what she was doing. And he **tried** to be honest with her. She'd gotten wise to his method of blocking out pain, knowing his reasons for avoiding overuse of pain meds. She knew how to read him, and how much he could get away with. They'd both taken a leap of faith and trust from the beginning when SG1 had become infected with the Broca virus.

For her, he'd played the good patient this time round. It didn't seem right to take his physical and emotional pain out on the staff. Her staff.

So here he was, sat in his truck. He had his wish, he could go home. But just for once he'd give almost anything to be back in the infirmary, to hear her bantering voice. She'd probably have visited later on some pretext or other, 'just checking' she called it. Mother henning more like, but he was still in a lot of discomfort and she would have been right, as usual.

Today's service and ceremony had been every bit as rough as he expected. Numbing reminders that they'd done all this for Daniel twice and he'd still made it back like some cosmic elastic band. Janet wasn't coming back. **Ever**. Like Charlie. Like Frank. Like Kowalski. Shit. So many names.

They'd all coped with Cassie, who was trying so hard to be adult, when all Jack could see was a small child who'd lost her mother again. But Janet would have been so proud of her today. Janet had done a fantastic job in bringing her up, given her work schedule and commitment to the SGC. He knew from experience how hard that was, not always being there for school events or parties.

It had been rough dealing with team mates who hurt for their friend and co- worker and had momentarily thought he'd been killed too. Carter had taken it all pretty hard; Janet was her best friend, and she was Aunt-older sister, body and soul to Cassie. The hug he'd given Carter was as much for him as to comfort her.

A tap on his window made him jump, pain flared up his torso and back.

"Jack you okay?" mouthed Daniel, standing outside the truck.

"Fine." said Jack winding the window down.

"It's just that you signed out ten minutes ago, and you're still here and I can't get my car to start so could you drop me off?" rambled Daniel.

Jack blinked; his hands were clenched on the steering wheel. He hadn't even turned the key.

"Sure." and he awkwardly leant over to open the other door. God, what was he thinking, Daniel must be pretty shaken up too. He'd been right there after all. Daniel had gone to ground, while Jack had been in the Infirmary. They'd pulled themselves together to get through this day.

Jack was tired emotionally and physically. They'd had the flag ceremony today at the SGC. He hurt so much, but he shoved it in the usual box. It was right to honour fallen comrades. And it was right that they should honour all the lives that she had saved. But like a small child he wanted to wail "it's not fair!" The SGC still needed her, Cassie still needed her.

It could have been Daniel  dead again, and probably no glowy 'get out of death free' card this time.

"Jack? I'd kind of like to go home." prompted Daniel. Jack hadn't heard him get in and shut the door. He was still sitting there with his hands on the wheel.

"Oh, right." and he started the truck and drove slowly out of the complex and down the twisting road to home.

Daniel was talking about his finds, and some new computer analysis. Why was he doing that? Trying to act normal wasn't going to work for long. Keeping it all in and non-stop work was a sure fire way for Daniel to keel over with exhaustion in the very near future.

It suddenly struck Jack that Daniel usually vented his feelings openly, while he tended to carry on as normal, dealing with the side effects later in some dark private corner with a punch bag or drink or two. Somewhere along the line they had changed places. Daniel wasn't saying much about anything to anyone. And Jack, well he was walking and talking, but there was this enormous, heavy weight pressing down on him. It led to moments of inertia and paralysis - such as sitting in his car for ten minutes staring at nothing. The shock of death and close calls will do that to you.

Jack made a decision to hijack his friend for his own good. Maybe they could help each other.

Suddenly Jack was home, parked in his driveway. He'd 'forgotten' to go Daniel's way, and he couldn't face the trek to the other side of town now anyway. He had no recollection of getting here, or if Daniel had spoken. A potentially dangerous auto pilot routine, Jack suddenly realised, as he turned the engine off. He'd lost time again.

"Jack why we are here?" asked Daniel.

"You're with me. I'm not letting you go home alone."

"Jack I'm fine. I just..."

"Stop it." ordered Jack.

"Wha?"

"Just get out of the damn car Daniel. I'm too tired to argue." Jack stiffly got out and locked the truck. Silently they walked to the front door.

Once inside Jack gingerly shed his jacket, putting it on the back of the sofa. Daniel trailed in behind him all pretence gone. It crossed Jack's mind that perhaps Daniel was making sure that **he** was alright by cadging the lift. He must have noticed that Jack hadn't gone his route home, and hadn't said a word.

"I'm not having beer if that's what you're thinking." began Daniel.

"Nope, I've got something better than that. Works every time. Trust me." Jack should know, he'd climbed inside a bottle or two in the past.

"You don't have to do this. I'm ok, it's okay." said Daniel like a broken record.

"It's not ok Daniel! It never will be. Don't push it away. It's my job to do this. If not me then who? McKenzie? Huh?" said Jack fiercely, pinning Daniel with a glare.

"But I feel so bad about the camera!"

"You did nothing wrong in taping it. Stuff happens. You did good Daniel."

"No! I couldn't save her!" shouted Daniel.

"Nobody could have Daniel." stated Jack calmly, as he got a bottle of Jack Daniels from a cupboard. He knew that for a fact. He'd got Dr Warner to explain the autopsy findings in English. Just so he knew for sure. Janet hadn't suffered and there was nothing Daniel could have done. *He* could deal with that. The problem was getting Daniel to deal with it.

Daniel went ahead to the kitchen.

"But you did try, and for that I'm proud of you. She wanted to be there, she had every **right** to be there. It was her job, just like it's our job." said Jack plainly.

"It could have been you Jack." insisted Daniel.

"But it wasn't! It could have been you- again. And that would have been really hard to deal with you know? Third time's the charm? I don't think so." said Jack bitterly.

Daniel absorbed the words, knowing that it would be the closest thing Jack would ever say about his dying after the Kelownian radiation and asking Jack to let him go so that he could ascend.

"If only Oma.That's what I can't understand Jack! I mean _why_ me, and not her? Why Skarra and not Janet? It goes round and round and round in my head, I don't know how to deal with it like this!" cried Daniel still thinking about Oma and ascending.

"People die Daniel! I don't know why " **not'** Janet, I don't have all the answers! We can't expect Oma to do whatever it is she does, all the time. We don't even know why she does it in the first place. You offered it to me once, and I didn't want to do that. She didn't step in then, or when I got fried the other day." replied Jack.

"Well, **we** all thought we'd lost you the other day! Sam and Teal'c thought so for a while." said Daniel angrily. He stood at the counter staring at the sink.

"Get some glasses while you're over there will ya." said Jack from the lounge. After a moment Jack joined Daniel in the kitchen. Eating was not an option, he decided. He certainly didn't feel like it. Having a drink or many drinks was another matter entirely.

"Have some of this." he said as he filled the two glasses Daniel put on the counter top.

"No."

"Drink it!" ordered Jack.

"You should eat something; you need to take some medication," urged Daniel.

"Forget the damn pills Daniel! I don't want to eat." said Jack angrily, his tiredness making him lash out.

"You know what Janet's rules are." began Daniel and then he stopped still. He turned around to face Jack. He grabbed at the whisky and gulped some.

"Oh god I'm so sorry." said Daniel,

"For what?"

"Everything! This is such a mess. We should all be with Cassie tonight. But I can't face her. I don't know how I made it through today. She said she was glad I was there ...when ...Janet..." He gulped more drink, choked slightly and sliding down the cabinet door, sank slowly to the floor. He put the glass down and hugged his knees.

Jack understood what Daniel was going through. Cassie would have been glad it was **anyone** from SG1 or a team she knew. Just so long as someone had been there with Janet. It didn't make it any easier to **be** that someone. Daniel was wrong about one thing though, tonight Cassie needed Carter. The guys could do their bit another time, another day, and each and every day if that's what it took.

He remembered waking up in the Infirmary, some hours after the General had gone, and found Cassie sitting next to his bed. When she saw that he was awake, she loosened her grip on his non IV'd hand to carefully hug him. He could see that she'd been crying.

"Hey, Boss man." she said softly.

"Cassie,"

  
"I thought you were dead too!" she said brokenly into his ear, as he carefully wrapped an arm round her.

"Not dead yet, too mean to die! I'm fine, Cass really. I'm okay."

"I had to see you for myself. Do you understand? I had to!" she said urgently.

"I do. Shhh, it'll be okay. We're all here. We won't let you go." he soothed, knowing it wouldn't be okay for a long time to come, but she still needed to hear the words.

Jack sighed; he could see no alternative than to sit next to Daniel on the kitchen floor. The physical pain was transitory, the other worldly mental pain would take a lifetime to ebb away. He should know he'd been there before. And so had Daniel with Sha're. Ain't life a bitch?

"Don't!" said Daniel suddenly.

"Don't what?"

"Sit, here on the floor- your back, ribs!"

"Screw it Daniel. I'm not leaving you. Why should I? We're a team. Besides this is my house, I can sit where I like. "

There was a long silence, Jack waited for Daniel to say something in his own good time. He could be patient. Daniel drank some more and then cleared his throat.

"Airman Wells thought he was going to die. Janet told him he'd be okay. His wife the babyhe wanted. I knew Janet could fix him. We tried so hard to tell him, he didn't believe us! That's why I had the damn camera on! For his last message to his wife and unborn baby! I didn't see where it came from. One minute we were fixing bandages and getting a line, and then there was this... whoomph and then she was.and I called for the medics." babbled Daniel desperately.

"Let it out Daniel." soothed Jack.

"I don't think they heard, but I shouted, **really** shouted." said Daniel his voice rough.

"I heard. I saw Daniel. You did everything you could." said Jack as he placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

"She's dead Jack."

"I know."

"She's dead Jack!"

"I know buddy." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack moved his hand from Daniel's shoulder to the back of his neck, in a comforting gesture.

"What do we do now, Jack? It's just not going to be the same."

"We go on. Like always. We have to. Otherwise there's no point in any of it. There is no other way." replied Jack.

"How do you do it, Jack? Picking yourself up after all that you've been through?" asked Daniel taking another drink, before putting the glass back on the floor.

Jack glanced at him for a moment. He removed his hand and dipped a finger in the whisky and then made squeaky circles on the rim of the glass, while he thought what to say.

"I've learned how to lose people, Daniel. A lot of people. But you don't entirely get over it. You cope with it the best you can and move on." He said knowing that it sounded harsh. Just like it had when he had said something similar to Carter after Daniel had 'died' and gone all glowy. But at the time they **had** to focus on the fight against Anubis.

"You can't sit there and say that to me, of all people. I think I know you Jack. You feel this just as much as we do. I saw today, how you comforted Cassie. And Sam's talked to me as well."

Jack sighed again. He'd never seen Carter looking so lost as when she'd come to see him the last time in the infirmary. It was all true. He had changed a lot over the last seven years.

"Well, don't tell everybody - I have a reputation to maintain! Besides it's all your fault." said Jack quietly.

"My fault? What do you mean Jack" asked Daniel confused.

"You wouldn't let me die on Abydos , the first time. You convinced me to invest my future in the SGC, and nowhere we are." explained Jack- for him it was that simple.

Daniel blinked. "Wow." he said, the JD finally mellowing him out.

"Yep."

There was a pause before Daniel spoke, "Still gonna tell everybody you're a big softie!"

"Are not."

"Am too!"

"Not."

"Am." 

We could be here all night like this, thought Jack wildly.

"Did your car really break down tonight?" he asked jolting Daniel from his track.

"Uhh, well..."

"Okay who was it? Carter? The General?"

"Umm, actually it was Cassie."

"Oh." said Jack.

That silenced them for a bit, as the legacy of Doctor Fraiser's powermongering washed over them, exquisitely painful.

"And you didn't 'forget' to drop me off at my apartment did you Jack?"

"Nope." Jack admitted.

"Thanks."

"Back atcha Danny."

They both sat and drank some more in the dark. After a while Jack realised that Daniel had fallen asleep. Lulled by Daniel's breathing and the JD, he too felt himself drifting off. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Daniel woke with a start; vivid technicolor dreams forced him awake just as they had been doing for the past several days. He'd dreamt about the moment Janet died **again** , and her warm body slumped against his shoulder. But he realised that this time it was Jack, asleep against him. He looked at his watch- 0232. His butt was numb from sitting on the floor, goodness knows how Jack felt.

"Jack? Do you have any idea how really really cold and hard this floor is?"

"Hmm? It's not much use as a floor otherwise Dan'l" came the sleepy reply. As soon as Jack shifted a bit, Daniel carefully got up, putting his glass on the counter, and stretched to unkink his back.

"You're not going home are you?" asked Jack.

"Nope, still got the spare room set up?"

"Yup"

"Okay then," and Daniel started to move out of the kitchen.

  
"Ah, Daniel?"

  
"Yes?"  
  
"I can't move!" 

From the direct looks they both shot each other, they each knew the other was thinking automatically that Janet would have told Jack and Daniel off in no uncertain terms for sitting on the floor for several hours, drinking alcohol, with no food and no medication. The phrase "who you gonna call?" flitted across Jack's brain. Action was needed.

"Daniel, there some heat gel packs in the cupboard there with the first aid stuff. Bung 'em in the microwave for a minute. I'll need them when I get upstairs." ordered Jack carefully sliding to the floor and gingerly kneeling on all fours.

The microwave dinged.

"Bring a chair over here and I'll use it to get up in stages, he directed. Daniel held onto the chair so it didn't fall over.

Once he was more or less upright, Jack took a step, but pain rippled across his chest and back and he thought that his legs would give way. Suddenly he felt Daniel supporting him. Together they lurched slowly across the kitchen and lounge and up the steps to the corridor where the master and spare bedrooms were.

"Thanks Daniel, I think I can manage from here."

"Okay, I'll get the heat packs. You want anything else?"

"A glass of water, thanks."

When Daniel returned a few minutes later, Jack was just coming out of the bathroom in T-shirt and shorts, and tugging the hem of the T-shirt down to cover the burn dressings on his chest.

"What **is** that?" he asked as Jack wafted past him.

"It's the ointment Warner gave me to make sure the burns heal nicely or something."

"I didn't notice it before,"

"That's because I didn't put much on today. I figured what with wearing the bandages under the dress blues, it would be uncomfortable enough without that, sono smell" said Jack preferring not to think about it too much.

"Right." said Daniel absently, standing stock still with the glass of water and the gel packs in his hands.

"Daniel?"

"Umm?"

"The packs?" gestured Jack.

"Oh sorry -here" and he yawned, as Jack sorted himself out in bed, finding the least painful position of several.

"Night Daniel." said Jack pointedly.

There was a pause, Daniel still didn't move.

"This seems really weird." he finally said

"What does?" asked Jack.

" Normal , well almost normal routine stuff. It seems so wrong; after all we've been through the last few days. I don't know anymore. I mean, I almost forgot Janet for a while. Surely that's wrong?" reasoned Daniel.

"Daniel, if you carry on thinking like that you'll go nuts. I couldn't bear it after Charlie. died. I couldn't understand how Sara carried on with day to day things. It's why we fought so badly. But I know now, that she was right. You have to live your life too Daniel- you taught me that on Abydos . We won't forget Dr Fraiser, but you've got to get some perspective. She wouldn't want us moping around. She'd want us to give her a good send off- which we did; look after Cassie- which we will, and carry on fighting the Goa'uld." Jack ran out of steam and now he too was yawning.

"You're right Jack. I'm so tired I don't know what I'm saying."

"Then get some sleep!" ordered Jack quietly.

"Night Jack."

"Night John-Boy."

Daniel smiled to himself as he made his way in a slightly wobbly line to the spare room. He hoped that Cassie and Sam were also finding solace and comfort tonight.

Jack was right. It was going to be difficult, but they had to carry on. The next Chief Medical Officer was going to have to be very special to fill Janet's shoes. For a small person she sure filled up a lot of space. 

THE END 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, 

When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on 

Don't let yourself go, 'cause every body cries and everybody hurts sometimes. 

Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends 

Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand, Oh No. Don't throw your hand. 

If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you're not alone"

"Everybody Hurts" song by REM. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 


End file.
